Fall TV Round Up - Part 1: The Bad

We're at that place again where I can rant, fawn, and make O.o faces at certain shows. We'll start with the BAD.

NURSE JACKIE (ShowTime), HAWTHORNE (TNT) and MERCY (NBC) are all the same. Down to what happens in their first episodes and the characters in them. Seriously. The main character is a Nurse Who Knows Better Than the Doctors. There's the token Gay Latino Man. The New Young Nurse Who is Warm And Fluffy (in sharp contrast to the jaded, capable star of the show). There's the One Doctor Who is On the Nurses' Side. The Voice of Reason Nurse. And the Evil Administrator. These shows are so derivative they've almost boiled down their premises into the most pure form. The Essence of Derivation, if you will.

Joining the new crop of medical fail are TRAUMA (NBC) and THREE RIVERS (CBS). I would personally like to off every single character on TRAUMA. They all suck. And the stories are boring. There's this rule in theater where the audience has to care about your characters before you can start asking us to care about their problems. The writer's room should have studied that. It's boring, trite, and I would like a helicopter to land on them all.

I'd say THREE RIVERS is this season best new medical drama, but that's damnation by faint praise and I say that mostly because it has a rich look to it. But the acting is horrible, the storytelling stilted, and I don't think the writers know what message they're trying to send. Which spells death.

Leaving the medical field behind, we have...

HANK (ABC) is going to go quietly into the night. Which is a pretty big accomplishment as Kelsey Grammar is known for his incessant chatter.

BORED TO DEATH (HBO) lives up to its name. I usually give shows at least three episodes, because first episodes are HARD *pout*. But I couldn't even get through the second episode of this with it playing in the background as noise. It was that bad.

EASTWICK(ABC) is one I want to like so badly. I love Paul Gross. He is a brilliant actor, and I had the biggest crush on Fraser from due South for so long. (He's been married for longer than I've been alive and I DO NOT CARE, that's how much I would jump on that.) But I think he's wasted as Mr. van Horne (or Satan is just badly written), as is Lindsay Price--whom I adore--who sticks glasses on her face in order to be 'the plain one.' Seriously, glasses haven't equaled unhot nerdiness since the mid-90s. Or whenever Urkle went off the air. Additionally, Rebecca Romijn manages to suck the life out of every scene she's in. This show also leads me into a side rant about the proliferation of rape on television, particularly in sci-fi/fantasy genres, which includes the shows DOLLHOUSE (Fox) and STARGATE: UNIVERSE (SyFyllis), but I'll save that for another post.

Rain, Rain, Stay and Play!

It's been raining in LA for two days now, which is the Los Angeles equivalent of a hurricane. Or the threat of ice in South Carolina. People go out and buy bread and milk, the smart ones also buy batteries, and people try not to leave their houses.

It's also and excuse for people to forget how to drive.

"It wasn't my fault, I slipped on the ice!"
"Sir, there is no ice."
"SEE WHAT I MEAN?!

I try not to drive when it rains if at all possible. Not just so I can maximize on the lazy feeling of an overcast day and revel in the sound of rain hitting the roof. It's because someone tries to murder me with their car no less than three times per drive. I am not exaggerating.

Driving in LA is a chore. It's going to take you about 4 times as long to get to where you're going as it would in a sensible place. For example:

According to Google Maps, my place of work is 5.8 miles from my doorstep.

It should take me about 15 minutes, with lights, to get to work.

It takes about half an hour.

So I've devised a series of games to pass the time. One is called Car Points. When you start your trip, you identify the car next to you by some distinguishing feature: a pro-Bush sticker, an obnoxious license plate, it's two different cars soldered into one. That is your ZERO CAR. Now for every car that crawls past you, mocking the fact that you chose the wrong lane, again, you get minus a point. For every car you pass, you gain a point. (Busses are two points, one for each half that you pass.)

You can also award yourself points for Passing a Jackass, Keeping a Jackass Behind You, and variations there of. I also like to award myself points for Not Killing the Idiot on a Motorcycle and Spotting the Bicyclist Before S/He Dies.

The 'Rainy Day' driving game? Count the number of cars that don't have their lights on because it's "daylight hours." Yeah, I can't count that high either.

Times are Tough

For those of you not in LA, one of the biggest talent agencies, CAA, throws a yearly "Young Hollywood" party/fundraiser. The assistants are invited, and most of the established companies buy tables and spots. And there's a swag bag involved.

Last night, the CAA grab bag included a hat and sample of EXTENZ.

Apparently the economy is hitting everyone hard...

It's alive!!

Yes, yes I am! And things have been crazy. I officially have a Master's degree from one of the most prestigious universities in the country, arguably the #1 school in the world for what I want to do. What does that mean?

Nada.

No, really. It means nothing other than I paid lots of money to meet some really cool people. (Okay, it's more complicated than that, and I really do like the people I met through the program, but let's not mince our words, K?)

But in the time since I last posted, I experienced my first bout of how crappy people in this industry can be. I accepted an internship with a brand new company that was a really good job prospect. Four execs in the office, a burgeoning TV side, looking to expand to about 20 people within three years. Seemed like a great first job with the possibility of expansion. And the execs, who liked me, would say things like "we want to put you on the payroll," "you could have a niche here," and "we want to hire you." So graduating-me is all excited.

Only once I graduate, I get "finish up your internship and we'll help you find a job." Um, EXCUSE ME? WTF mate. What happened to "we want to hire you"?? Yeah. So I speant a couple of days being angry, then decided to take a much needed break and go home for four weeks, with a stopoff in Texas to go to my best friend's sister's wedding. Sometimes the answer is to get the hell out of LA. Because the moment I got back? Job interview Thursday, hired on Friday, started on Monday.

With some place that didn't include a crazy receptionist/assistant who hates me. But more on that later, I have plenty of Internship Horror Stories to start updating with. But hey, at least you know this story has a happy ending!

Happy New Year!

So I went back to the East Coast, visited with family and friends (miss y'all!), and have no returned to the Land of La. And boy, what a homecoming.

So I no longer have a roommate. This is not terribly upsetting since I'm pretty content to live alone right now. AND this means I have a spare bedroom/bath. (Anyone want to visit?) However, the bathroom, until now, was not in a usable state. by any stretch of the imagination.

I'm quite sad I didn't take pictures, but it looked something like this:

My Google Fu has failed me. I found no comparable photo on Google. Just imagine your pretty white bathtub. Not paint the bottom green and black, with a smattering of red, and an almost florescent green around the edges. Yeah, that's what it looked like. We've been living here a year and a half, and I'm fairly sure she's never cleaned it.

So what to do?

Well, I started off with a bleach solution: 2/3 bleach to 1/3 hot water. Now, for those of you who know anything about mold/mildew, you're probably all filled with angst right now going "But bleach doesn't kill mold! Or make it go away!" Yes, thank you, I know that, but the bleach made me feel better. And the top layer of gross went pouring down the drain.

Next was a gallon and a half of white vinegar/hot water solution. I let it sit over night, and the second layer of filth went merrily down the drain; the water was swirling black. YUMMY.

And the bottom of the tub? No white to be seen.

So at this point, I need to bring in the big guns. Time to head to the store.

I buy three different kind of cleaners: heavy duty, foaming, and after-shower. I'm currently on application five of the heavy duty (and a pass with the foaming to spice things up). The first application was...nothing short of awe-inspiring. Truly phenomenal. The grossness just...washed away. I could suddenly see white! THERE REALLY WAS TUB UNDER THERE! (I'm more shocked than you.)

All the next coats have rinsed away the rest of the gross, though there are still areas of discoloration. I'm giving myself a few days off from scrubbing/cleaning, then trying again. If it still doesn't work, I'm going to see if bleach will restore the rest of the white coloring.

My house is so clean now! I've even cleaned out the vacuum cleaner so that it vacuums at maximum efficiency. I am a happy hommemaker :)

Next post: My Sister stories!

I am Mesmerized

Cannot take my eyes off this. WOW. This guy WINS at GUITAR HERO!

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Late Night Wowz.

"It's like Through the Looking Glass and Fraggle Rock had a child and it was...Labyrinth."
-Rooms