Conversations At Work

So sometimes I have to field the most ridiculous calls. People who think they can sneak past me, the Gatekeeper, and get to the Big Bosses. Rarely, they succeed (like the woman who told me she was calling from the National Library, for example; and she was, quite litterally, calling from the National Library). Most of the time, the conversations fail for obvious reasons:

Caller: Hi, Phil please.
A guy names Phillip has not worked here for over 2 years. No one who has ever called up for him has ever called him 'Phil.'
Me: I think you have the wrong number.
Caller: No I don't. This is [Company] International Film Distribution, isn't it?
There are 4 different companies with the same [Company] name, but different tail ends; they all do different things.
Me: No, this is [Company] Film.
Caller: Oh. Is there a Polish guy that works there?
No, no there is not.
Me: No, there isn't.
Caller: Yeah there is. John. John [Boss's last name, which is an Anglicized Polish last name from when his GREAT GRANDPARENTS immigrated.]
Me: Well, yes, he does work here, but he isn't Polish...
Caller: Great.
Silence.
Me: Can I help you?
Caller: Can you put me through to him?
Me: No. He's not here. May I take a message?
Caller: No.
hangs up.

O.o Really? No, he never gave his name. Yes, he tried to act like he was buddy-buddy with both execs. Yes, he failed spectacularly at convincing me he actually knew either of them.

I love my job, especially the moments that make me laugh.