Thursday, January 31, 2008

Jems from Class

This's kind of my jam.
--Fellow Producer
You're mixing your metaphors there, buddy.

...and she's got a bubble butt you could bounce a quarter off of...
That's why they make Apple-Bottom jeans...

So he starts this rumor that his sister is a hermaphrodite, and photoshops a pair of furry balls on a picture of her...

Tuesday, January 29, 2008


"DVDs are like cigarettes in prison here!"
-Fellow Producing Student

Thursday, January 24, 2008

The OC Girl

So the other day at my new internship, I'm given a script to read. It's a very funny script, great premise for a show, and we're in the process of casting it. So my supervisor gives me this script and tells me to come up with a list of people to cast in it. All of the main characters are supposed to be lithe and in their 20s (except one with pig-like features which I pretty much ignored). So I have about an hour and a half to read this script, track down some feasible actors to play the roles, turn it in and then go home.

Casting isn't as easy as it seems.

There's this whole universe to casting, and movies and TV exist in very separate worlds. I'm more invested in the movie world at the moment, though I'm familiar with a few of the up-and-coming TV stars, I couldn't tell you who's creating buzz at any given time. So this makes my job that much harder. So I really spent an hour combing IMdB thinking "What teen/young adult shows are now defunct, and whose actors aren't currently working?" Not the complexity of the requirements.

  1. You need actors who have resumes; you don't just entrust your entire show to random new people.
  2. They need to be available; i.e. out of work. Which due to the strike, may open up certain possibilities...
  3. They need to match the characters (i.e. pretty people who look 20)
So it's harder than it sounds. But lo and behold...about 97% of the pretty OC people aren't working. So using people who have only done multiple guest spots and been in 5+ episodes, I pulled together a list of Pretty People Who Might Work. Not bad for an hour's research I think. I fill up a page with names for the 3 lead characters, just a 'look what I did in my hour, it's a crappy list but whatev' list.

So I turn my list into my boss. She looks it over and goes, "Oh. You must really like the OC." I looked at her askance because NO and said..."Actually, I've never seen an episode. They're just pretty and available. But for the main hero guy, that dude who played Bryce from Chuck would be perfect." So she smiles at me, says thanks AND THEN SAYS: "Awesome, I'll e-mail this to everyone."



Thursday, January 17, 2008


So I was sprinting away from my classroom today at 12 minutes until I had to be there, and this was scary prof's class. Naturally, I run into her as I'm running away, and she stops me and exclaims about my hair, which was curly and down. The following was said:

You look like a fairy princess!
~Uber Scary Demanding Prof.

Awesome Stories

So I occasionally get to hear some really rockin' stories from the people who come in or our profs who have done Stuff. This one is about An Officer and a Gentleman.

Remember the GREAT romance in that story? Paula and Zack and the carrying-across-the-threshold scene? And how Debra Winger and Rishard Gere looked so so so good together? Yeah. They loathed each other. Richard Gere sent her dead roses dyed black when she was nominated for the Oscar.


Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Producer-ish Thought of the Day

So from time to time, I find my producing classes infiltrating on my sanity. Today I had this thought:

If I wanted to build an Eiffel Tower (a la the one in Vegas), what rights--if any--would I have to buy?

Think about it. Is the actual design copyrighted? If I added a column or zigged instead of zag, could I get away with it? Is it considered a work of art, even though it's actually just a famous radio tower? (By the way, if you have any pictures of the light show on the E.T., you're infringing on copyright. You have to pay the SNCF royalties.) Questions questions questions.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Brenda and the No Good Very Bad Driving Skillz: Une

Adventures in Driving Part 3

So about a month ago, I innocently went about my business. I did my school work, brushed my hair, went to Ralph's, got hit in the parking lot. You know, a normal day. So after getting upset about the giant black spot on my car, I realized the tiny little white thing on my windshield was a note. Well, awesome! Points for this person for actually leaving a note. So I call Brenda that night. I'm very understanding; these things happen. We agree not to go through insurance and I'd call her back with an estimate.

So about a week later, I swing by this body shop. It's going to cost about $700. Yikes, but not worth it for insurance rates to go up, yeah? So I call up my good friend Brenda and leave a message asking her to call. A few days go by with no communication, so I call again right before I leave for the East. Nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing. It's been a month now.

So somewhere down the line I realize...wait, she totally wrote me the note on a business card! I know where she works! So I conjure up this GREAT plan to ambush her and make her feel like a horrible human being for not being a decent human being. Here's how is was going to go:

I was going to call ahead and get a fake appointment under a fake name at this Silver Nails type place.
Then I'd go to her place of work. I'd be friendly, upbeat, nice, killing her with kindness...before springing my trap.
She'd go a little pale, a little in awe of my mad detective skillz, and try to be a little rude about it before capitulating to my righteousness and either cut me a check for the money right then or give me her insurance info, whichever route she wanted to do.
I was going to be awesomely badass.

Except she didn't work there. But, hearkening back to those mad detective skillz, I found her in the yellow pages so I'm calling her house sometime tonight. If she's uncooperative, we'll go to dep-con 4.

Eau de New Year

Ah, three weeks away from the hustle and bustle of the City of Angels. It's almost enough to recharge the batteries and prepare to return to the West Coast. So in preparation, some things I appreciate about the South:

--Being able to drive across town in 10 minutes.
--Being the crazier driver.
--Mocking my friends about having 'liquor stores' and not being able to buy alcohol in grocery stores. (To be fair, the first time my roommate and I threw a party and needed more alcohol STAT, I spent 20 minutes trying to figure out where a liquor store was until a native Californian looked at me like I was insane and asked me why I wasn't just going to the grocery store down the street. They thought my resulting awe was 'cute.')
--Mustard-based barbecue sauce
--CHEERWINE (themed care packages accepted.)
--The queer nightlife, wherein the alternative lifestyle' denizens of the oppressed South go uber-queer and party hard.
--ssssssllllllloooooowwwww living. Makes reading books easier.

But now I am in the land of sun (it rained for the first two days I was back) and warmth (it was freezing, indoors and out) and In-N-Out burger.

Irony of the Trip: The really fat guy wearing a “Property of U.S. Athletic Dept” t-shirt.